1. There was the guy that described himself as an "Anderson Cooper" lookalike. That was code for gray hair. He was twittery, jerky and so freaking twitchy that I thought he might have a seizure right then and there. And me being the idiot (and nice gal that I am), I thought maybe he was just really nervous and agreed to see him a second time. We had nothing in common, met at a small pub at dinner that didn't serve food (but lots of beer), and after I explained that I'm not big on PDA he moved in for some smooching. Ick, ick, ick. I remember actually threw my hand up and said something along the lines of, "Yeah, I don't do that." LOL
2. Then there was the guy that told me all about his recent brief admission to the hospital for an anxiety attack. First of all, I was raised in a household that doesn't even believe in that. Show up with a real problem. My medical part knows that they do exist but my mother's voice of, "come to me when there's blood gushing or bones protruding" still rings true in my mind. The sad part is that this guy was actually easy to talk to and I may have been able to forgive him the anxiety attack talk (on the first date I might add) but clearly, I was too weird for him to even consider. It makes me wonder how weird I must be for anxiety attack guy to not want to call me again. I'm mostly mad because I wasted my best hospital face on him. I even made appropriate soothing nursey noises. Massive eye roll.
3. There was once a guy that I had NO intention of dating but my newly wed friends really thought I should go out with. They were in the throes of bliss and felt everyone needed a mate to be complete. (snort of cough to cover up the bullshit). They didn't care that this guy is only about 3 years younger than my mom and has kids closer to my age than I am to his. They also didn't care that I thought he was a racist, bore, and only put up with him because I liked his kids. At the last minute my so called "friends" bailed on our group dinner and I was forced to listen to him rant about those "damn Mexicans", that he couldn't believe how long the wait was(on a Friday night - idiot), and then proceed to tell me that I didn't know the way to get back to my own apartment. Ugh. In fact, double UGH.
4. And last but not least, my latest in a long string of reasons why I'm okay with not dating: today's adventure. So I agree to meet this guy at a local coffeeshop. I've seen a picture and he describes himself as average. I also describe myself as average but I should mention that I have a goal of running a 1/2 marathon one day. This guy shows up and hasn't run for anything except doughnuts. Well, that's being harsh. Let's just say that a man's definition of average and a woman's definition of average are two very different things. He also felt the need to mention that he thought it was truly sad that I've never smoked pot. Really? The first time I've ever met you and we're going to talk about pot? Or the fact that when you settled down and got your first real job less than 10 years ago the thing you found most bothersome was that you had to quit firing up a doobie whenever you wanted?
Once again, folks, if that's what's out there then leave me inside.
