You can't have you cake AND eat it too

This post is probably going to piss off a lot of you married folks.  Oh, wait.  No one reads this.  My own mother doesn't read this.  Mostly because my mother doesn't get the idea of an online world.  She has email that she checks about once a month and she knows she can pay her bills online but don't even ask her about facebook, twitter and most certainly about a blog.
  However, this isn't about my mother's lack of knowledge of the internet.  This is about married people and what they ever so charmingly refer to as "date night".  Ugh.  Gag me.  I am about to completely burst your bubble, married folks.  The only way you get a date night is if you are cheating on your spouse.  Yup.  See, YOU got married.  So you stopped dating when you had that big party, made us all dress up (remember those - "it can be worn again!"), and we catered to your every whim for a day.  Or in some cases,  a week.  Or six months.  Whatever.  I did all that.  And I really did it with a smile on my face and for the most part I meant it.  I really did.  I only faked it a few times.  Oh, but with the invention of facebook people feel the need to keep me abreast of every teensy detail of their lives.  This includes what you married peeps call date night.  HA!  Jokes on you.  You don't get a date night.  You get a "night away from those screaming toddlers that you thought were going to be so much fun and in fact like to yell all the damn time and trash the house".  But I'm guessing that's too much to put on a facebook status.  See, the thing is, I get date night.  And I get it with different people.  Don't like Friday date night?  No problem!  Saturday's a different date!  Enjoyed Friday's?  Great!  Let's book it again for next weekend!  The best part is that I don't even feel like I'm escaping when I do it.  That's what a date actually is.  Now, before you start to get all pissy about this, just remember - you get the holidays with a standing date for all work functions, someone to snuggle you whenever you want it, and if you're very lucky, someone to make the coffee in the morning.  If you're me - you have a Keurig so you get coffee in about 30 seconds and don't give a rat's ass about the other stuff.